Top Five Worst Things People Said After My Husband Died

guest post by Natasha Maxwell

5. “We all lost him.”

Okay, but did you give him a BJ in the hospital after his craniotomy when a ping-pong-sized tumor was removed from his brain? Let us not remotely compare experiences. Yes, you lost someone beloved to you, but I am forever traumatized by 8 months of watching my husband suffer daily. Do you know how many BJs it takes to comfort a dying man? It’s a lot. My mouth was always tired, and I’m pretty sure my jaw is permanently disjointed. It still clicks when I chew gum or try to eat a popsicle. Our grief is not the same!

4. “He wouldn’t want you to be upset.” 

Excuse me, did you even know my husband? He absolutely would want me to feel devastated, at least for a little while. It’s not like you marry someone hoping they could care less if you were to drop dead at any moment. I’m fairly certain there are documentaries about such relationships and one includes a lady who possibly fed her husband to a tiger (dramatic pause).

3. “You have to take care of you.”

That’s brilliant, I’ll  just indulge in a little self-care with the zero-energy I have coupled with my dwindling financial resources. Thanks for the idea!

2. “You’re overreacting.” 

In reference to me being pissed that at a “memorial” dinner planned and hosted by my late husband’s parents (without my daughter or me included), his ex was allowed to stand up and talk about their past relationship and problems. And it was okay because, “they’re all good now…” 

Yes, this happened. 

Needless to say, I showed up at the end and told everyone to go…. love themselves. I know with 100% certainty that my husband would have been turned on by how badass I was that day. 

  1. “It’s part of God’s plan”

I guess all those “thoughts and prayers” from everyone weren’t convincing enough for God to change the plan. Dang it

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