Interview: “Widow We Do Now?” With Anita and Mel

In this episode:

“We started a podcast called “Widow We Do Now?” Because we don’t know what to do.”

In this episode, I (Tawny) chatted with Anita and Mel from the podcast Widow We Do Now?, the show that addresses topics related to grief, death, bereavement, and moving forward through the inescapable pitfalls of young widowhood. And it’s funny too! You can listen to their show now on apple podcasts

Anita, Mel, and I talked about podcasting being a great platform for teaching and healing, learning from other people’s grief, normalizing the different ways we grieve, and creating communities for people.

Mel (38) is a musician who tours around the United States and the world (she was also the associate music director for the national tour of Matilda). She married her husband Scott (who was a theater director) when she was 33. After getting surgery for a deviated septum, Scott unexpectedly passed away just days later during his recovery in November of 2017. They had been married for just one year and 11 months. Mel then found herself homeless and couch surfing for a year while mourning the loss of her husband. She went on to overcome depression, a gnarly car accident, learn about passive suicidality, attend a lot of therapy, and get a ton of dogs. Mel also shares funny stories about tacky wolf birthday cakes, Bob Ross and Kenny G board games, and unicorn vomit. 

Anita (40) is a physical therapist, who got married at 19 and “surprise, surprise, we had an awesome marriage.” She’s also a mom to 4 kids which she admits is “crazy.” Her husband Jason, was a marathon swimmer… like he would jump in a lake and swim for 7 miles. Then, in early 2019, Anita had surgery on a thyroid nodule that was huge. The day after the surgery, Jason passed away during a swim at the pool due to an undiagnosed heart defect. A week after the funeral, she found out that the thyroid was cancerous. Anita tells us how she copes with humor, especially with fellow widow, Mel, and her sisters. 

  • “Nothing has ever been sacred, you joke about everything.” – Anita
  • “His timing of death was super stupid.” – Mel
  • “If you haven’t lived through this, your brain actually cannot process the thoughts that you learn going through something like this.” Anita
  • “The stupid doctor had an earring so I hate him forever, even though it’s not his fault…” – Anita
  • “Does this mean for Halloween I can be a black widow?” – Mel
  • “There’s a place for everyone no matter how you grieve. You grow so much as a person through grief. Loss is loss. Take care of yourself. Try to create a new you, where there’s a better you. There’s good and bad and there’s the middle – don’t lose sight when you’re in the middle. Also, eat all the sugar.” – Mel

@death_is_hilarious – Instagram

@thatdeathpod – Twitter