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New This Week: April 5- April 11

Hang out with us on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter

Join us in our Facebook group

Listen to the show here

April 6 – NEW Episode – Widowed By Covid: Interview With Comedian Rich Kiamco

April 12 – New Episode With Sam

Sam has been hard at work on a big commission (did you know they’re an artist when not podcasting?) but will be back for more traumady next month. We’re excited to debut an all new segment called “Traumology: Trauma Horoscopes With Sam” Get your very own personalized horoscope read on the show by answering the following questions

Win The Pin

The Death Deck on TikTok

I (Tawny) host game night each Tuesday live on TikTok at 6:00 pm pst! It’s a fun death positive card game created by Lisa & Lori – recent guests on the show! Follow @tawnyplatis on TikTok to join in on the fun.

This Week For Patrons

Early + Ad Free – Get this week’s episode before it hits the podcast feed…and it’s commercial free too!

Too Hot For Grandma – Stories that were too spicy for the show from Rich’s interview

New Coloring Book Page

Next Week’s Pin Preview

Death Deck Replay – Get the recorded game exclusively on Patreon

Birthday Shout Out – For our patrons at the $10 and $15 level, be sure to email us back with your birthday month so we can wish you a happy birthday on the show!

Monthly Merch – If you haven’t yet, make sure your mailing address is updated so we can send you new monthly merch from our store

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New This Week: March 29-April 4

Hang out with us on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter

Join us in our Facebook group

Listen to the show here

155 On The Apple Personal Journal Podcast Charts

We’re trending! Thank you so much for subscribing and sharing the show with your friends and on social media. We couldn’t produce the show without your help!

March 30 – New Episode with Lisa Keefauver, MSW & host of Grief Is A Sneaky B!tch

April 12 – New Episode With Sam

Sam has been hard at work on a big commission (did you know they’re an artist when not podcasting?) but will be back for more traumady next month. We’re excited to debut an all new segment called “Traumology: Trauma Horoscopes With Sam” Get your very own personalized horoscope read on the show by answering the following questions

Win The Pin

The Death Deck on TikTok

I (Tawny) host game night each Tuesday live on TikTok at 6:00 pm pst! It’s a fun death positive card game created by Lisa & Lori – recent guests on the show! Follow @tawnyplatis on TikTok to join in on the fun.

This Week For Patrons

Early + Ad Free – Get this week’s episode before it hits the podcast feed…and it’s commercial free too!

Too Hot For Grandma – Stories that were too spicy for the show from Lisa’s interview

New Coloring Book Page – This week’s page is titled “Mourning Coffee”

Next Week’s Pin Preview – “Girls Just Wanna Have Sun”

Birthday Shout Out – For our patrons at the $10 and $15 level, be sure to email us back with your birthday month so we can wish you a happy birthday on the show!

Monthly Merch – If you haven’t yet, make sure your mailing address is updated so we can send you new monthly merch from our store

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This Week: March 22-28

New Episode

Stormy Gail is an artist who creates big mood and dark humor pieces of art like comics and pins that focus on skeletons, death, depression, and trauma and is also a member of the Dead Parent Club. Find her work at stormygailart.com


In this episode, Stormy and I talked about caring for her terminally ill mother, feeling pressured to make others comfortable with how we deal with grief, the graphic images burned into our brains from being with the bodies of our loved ones, the judgement we get for coping publically and online by others who have not experienced grief, trauma, or loss, how our experiences influence our art, how people don’t view comedy as a legitimate art form, how trauma makes you funny, how much we love comedian Mimi Hayes, our therapists using us for our comedy, how creating art while caring for her mother in the ICU changed Stormy’s life, sluttery being hereditary, and why she draws skeletons instead of bunny rabbits (hint: it’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas’” fault).

The Death Deck on TikTok

I (Tawny) will be hosting game night each Tuesday live on TikTok at 6:00 pm pst! It’s a fun death positive card game created by Lisa & Lori – recent guests on the show! Follow @tawnyplatis on TikTok to join in on the fun.

And don’t forget to visit us on Patreon for more Rewards

We’re still trying to collect birthdays and current addresses from our qualifying patrons so be sure to check your email and give us a response when you can- we don’t want to miss you!

XOXO

Tawny

DeathIsHilarious@gmail.com

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This Week: March 15-21

New Episode

This week I’m chatting with my friend Michael from the Unpopular Culture podcast! Michael is a psychologist with a background in forensics and is currently a professor at Antioch University where here teaches classes such as Abnormal Psychology, Psycho-diagnostics & Treatment Planning, Psychopathology, Developmental Psychology, and Counseling Theory. Last year we chatted about using dark humor as a coping mechanism for grief and he returned the favor by diving into the psychology behind gallows humor with me on my latest episode (spoiler – you aren’t a psycho if you use dark humor to cope).

The Death Deck on TikTok

I (Tawny) will be hosting game night each Tuesday live on TikTok at 6:00 pm pst! It’s a fun death positive card game created by Lisa & Lori – recent guests on the show! Follow @tawnyplatis on TikTok to join in on the fun.

And don’t forget to visit us on Patreon for more Rewards

We’re still trying to collect birthdays and current addresses from our qualifying patrons so be sure to check your email and give us a response when you can- we don’t want to miss you!

XOXO

Tawny

DeathIsHilarious@gmail.com

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This Week: March 8-14

New Episode

This week I’m chatting with Shyni, the host of the Lipstick Laundry podcast, a “34-year-old widow and mother of one who started the show after all hell broke loose.” If you aren’t already a fan, take a listen to her podcast. WARNING- Shyni is hysterical, please exercise caution while enjoying. Lipstick Laundry and Death Is Hilarious are not responsible for fractured ribs due to uncontrollable laughter.

The Death Deck on TikTok

I (Tawny) will be hosting game night each Tuesday live on TikTok at 6:00 pm pst! It’s a fun death positive card game created by Lisa & Lori – recent guests on the show! Follow @tawnyplatis on TikTok to join in on the fun.

New Trailer

We’ve been animated!

New Merch

The Death Is Hilarious merch store is officially open for business! We have several designs created by your truly and products available (my personal favorites are the little skeleton dudes). Here are this week’s new designs.

New Patreon Rewards

Coloring Pages, + Digital Letter Copies – Patrons at the $5 level can download their very own Death Is Hilarious coloring book pages and the digital copies of mine and Sam’s letters from the show. This week’s page is available now!

Too Hot For Grandma, Birthday Shoutouts, + Merch – In addition to outtakes, our segments that are a little too spicy for Sami’s grammy are now available on Patreon (Sami shares about their lack of experience with the sexually explicit content). We’re also happy to be adding birthday shoutouts to the show as well as monthly merch goodies! This month we’re sending out Trauma Queen pins

We’re still trying to collect birthdays and current addresses from our qualifying patrons so be sure to check your email and give us a response when you can- we don’t want to miss you!

XOXO

Tawny

DeathIsHilarious@gmail.com

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What’s New At Death Is Hilarious

New House, New Studio

I (Tawny) just moved into this beautiful new home about ten minutes away from La Jolla in San Diego and I’m in the process of building my first in-home studio. That means no more recording booth that resembles the chokey from Matilda! It’ll take about two-three months to build so I’m currently in a temporary space (that doesn’t sound too shabby) but you can get an idea of what it will look like by taking a little peek at the design my engineer created here:

New Episode

Sam had a first date on Valentine’s Day, Tawny moved out of East County, we read our first listener letter (congrats Rachel!), and share our emoji sex ed guide. Tawny moved out of East County San Diego and talks about her experience being catfished on a dating app and Sam shares about her current love of astrology with the help of the incomparable Fifi Dosch (@fifidosch on TikTok) and a certain trauma related to cat urine.

New Merch

The Death Is Hilarious merch store is officially open for business! We have several designs created by your truly and products available (my personal favorites are the little skeleton dudes).

New Patreon Rewards

Coloring Pages, + Digital Letter Copies – Follow me on TikTok to join me for live coloring sessions! Patrons at the $5 level can download their own digital copies and color along. This week’s page is available now in addition to digital copies of the latest episode letters.

Too Hot For Grandma, Birthday Shoutouts, + Merch – In addition to outtakes, our segments that are a little too spicy for Sami’s grammy are now available on Patreon (Sami shares about their lack of experience with the sexually explicit content). We’re also happy to be adding birthday shoutouts to the show as well as monthly merch goodies! This month we’re sending out Trauma Queen pins

We’re still trying to collect birthdays and current addresses from our qualifying patrons so be sure to check your email and give us a response when you can- we don’t want to miss you!

XOXO

Tawny

DeathIsHilarious@gmail.com

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My Husband’s Birthday: Five Hard Truths About Being A Young Widow

(This is not a comedic post. Sometimes even the darkest humor doesn’t do the trick when you’re severely depressed, alone, and haven’t had physical contact in weeks. Though… I suppose that’s not entirely true as I did have a gyno appointment yesterday- so we got REAL intimate. Ok, that’s the ONE joke I’ll throw your way before things get heavy).

Today would have been George’s 31st birthday. He passed away when he was 29. I turned 30 in December and all I can think about is how I’m not supposed to be older than him. 

I’m moving in three days out of what was supposed to be a temporary, cheap, cruddy apartment in a bad neighborhood that we had moved into in order to be close to the hospital – and so I could better afford the treatment for him that our insurance didn’t cover.

While I’m beyond grateful to be moving into a gorgeous home in a beautiful neighborhood with a very good and longtime friend, this was where George and I spent his last nine months together. And while this is also the place where the trauma of finding my husband’s body happened, it’s the place where we shared some of the best moments of our marriage.

Terminal illness is physically painful and emotionally taxing on the individual as well as on their loved ones. High levels of depression and anxiety are common and everyone reacts to them differently- and often poorly. I frequently talk about the intense and passionate love George and I shared but that didn’t mean our relationship was perfect by any stretch of the imagination. However, we loved each other enough to go to therapy individually and together multiple times a week in order to better understand each other and to cope with the enormous life challenges we faced. 

We didn’t give up because we wanted to be better for each other. That’s one of the reasons losing him was so heartbreaking- we had reached an amazing place in our marriage during the last months of his life. We had grown closer after everything we had been through together. Caring for someone you love who is ill is such an intimate experience and I was so happy I could do it for him.

He’s been gone since November 2019 and most days are still excruciatingly painful. I hurt just as bad as I did in the first three months after he died. It doesn’t feel like I’ve progressed since then. The isolation from the pandemic has created what I suspect is lasting and irreparable damage to my mental state. And as covid rages on, I can’t help but feel for all of the new and young widows who are also finding themselves often extremely isolated with their overwhelming grief. Some of these widows have reached out after finding my show and the prevailing sentiment has been, “I wish I had known about all the other hard stuff besides just grieving the loss of my partner (secondary loss).”

I get that. 

I compare it to wanting to know when the phlebotomist is going to stick you with the needle when you’re giving blood or wanting to know all the scary stuff about your medical prognosis. There’s something to be said about wanting to get an idea of just how bad it’s going to hurt in order to mentally prepare for the pain. My husband was that way too.

So without further ado, here are the five hard truths about being a young widow

1.You may no longer be anyone’s first priority – If your only family was your spouse, you’ll soon find that you are no longer anyone’s “first.” You won’t be the first person to enter someone’s mind when they wake up in the morning. You won’t be the first person someone chooses to spend time with. You won’t be the first person anyone calls with exciting news. Out of all the people in the world, there isn’t anyone who loves you the most anymore. I’m still not entirely sure that I wouldn’t have ended my life by now if my dog would let anyone else brush her teeth. Fortunately, Babbs is likely to live at least another 7 years, which in turn gives me at least another 7 years on this planet. Suicidal ideation comes in waves and we often forget when in the midst of an episode that we don’t always want to end our lives. I highly recommend adopting an affectionate animal if you’re widowed and alone.

2. Your grief is often considered secondary – My grief has been diminished on several occasions because my husband and I were “only” together for 6.5 years. I was discouraged from having my name on his headstone and securing a double plot because, “I was so young and would get married again soon.” I was repeatedly told to prioritize and be strong for those who knew him longer than I did. Interestingly, many of these same people who “knew him longer” were the same people who hadn’t spoken to him in years, let alone visited him in the hospital when he was sick during the last 9 months of his life. These were also the same people who were the most dramatic at his funeral and on social media. And again these were the same people who didn’t reach out on the one year anniversary of his death or on any other milestones.

3. You will be judged no matter how you grieve/cope – Unless you become a complete recluse long enough for people to forget about you entirely, you will be judged. Whether you decide to date or don’t date, cry in bed or go to a movie, lose weight or gain weight, talk about your grief or don’t talk about grief, everyone and their great aunt Sue will tell you you’re being unhealthy and disrespectful. And God help you if you talk about your grief publicly. I’ve yet to go one week without being called a “sad attention whore” and receiving death threats online for “being disrespectful” towards my late husband. I’ve found these comments and threats are almost always from lonely single men who sadly have yet to experience a loving relationship.

4. A lot of people will tell you “no” when you ask for help – If you don’t already feel rejected and like a pain in the ass, buckle up. People who tell you they love you and claim to be your family will pass on taking you to the hospital or will decline to watch your dog while you’re in said hospital. People will say they’re too busy to video chat with you when you reach out. “Call me if you need ANYTHING” and “I’m here for you” are just things that many people say in the moment to make themselves feel better… so they can metaphorically tick off the, “I’m a good human box” in their head in order to sleep at night.

5. The people you were closest to may hurt you the most – One of the first things I heard when I had to tell someone George had passed was, “what did you do?” I was in the next room and didn’t get to him in time in order to resuscitate him so his death is on my hands in this person’s mind. It’s easy to blame the widow when people are grieving and need to assign some kind of meaning to their loss. One of the few family members I had cut me out of her life when I didn’t go to her second wedding to the same guy that was being hosted at the home of the people who abused me. The wedding was being held two months after I had found my husband’s body. And when I was making dark jokes in lieu of putting a Mossberg in my mouth, I was told I was being inappropriate and needed to think of others’ comfort before my own- implying that that was more important than my survival.

This wasn’t the first time in my life I had been told to be quiet, unseen, and to take up less space. Not by a long shot. The difference is now I don’t have my equally rambunctious and endlessly loving partner to support me when it’s happening. I’ve had to figure out how to mostly support myself when I’m hurting. I say “mostly” because there were some people who showed up and have continued to show up – even a year later.

They have all been podcasters and podcast listeners. 

Podcasting is powerful. The ability to cast a net so far reaching in order to find your fellow freaks is something I’ll always be grateful for. 

So find your fellow freaks. Join the widow groups. If you’re rejected, keep reaching out to different people until you find the ones you connect with. It’s hard and exhausting work, but you aren’t alone. 

Xoxo

Tawny

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Get paid to write for the show!

Have you ever wanted to share your funny story and/or insights about trauma, grief, and loss with the rest of the world?

Want to make $50?

Here’s your chance!

Submit your letter to the podcast with the form below by January 31, 2021 and we’ll choose our favorite one to read on the show… as well as pay you $50 cash! See below for additional details.*

Need an example of a letter to get inspired? Check out one of Tawny’s here.

Need help? Email DeathIsHilarious@gmail.com

*Winner will be announced February 1, 2021 on our website, social media, and via newsletter. Winner will be notified via email and the prize amount of $50 will be paid to the recipient via their choice of Venmo, PayPal, Cash App, or Zelle on February 1, 2021 when the winner responds with their preferred method of payment and handle.

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“Ex-vangelical” and “Molly:” with Tawny & Sam

It’s the return of Sam! 

Sam is back and fills us in on what they’ve been up to. We start the show off by talking about how all of the bad things about 2020 won’t simply go away at midnight on December 31st, how people from the midwest like to interrogate people, toxic positivity, and Tawny turned 30 (or 40 or 45) last week. Tawny starts off the show with her comedy stand-up routine masquerading as a letter and talks about being an ex-evangelical (ex-vangelical). Then Sam talks about how they and their family recently used dark humor to cope with the loss of a four-legged family member. 

Get in touch by emailing deathishilarious@gmail.com or visit deathishilarious.com – Check out Sam’s art at instagram.com/tangledpaperideas

Toxic positivity article: https://wapo.st/38hkQE7

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News From The Show